


Frailty

by mag_and_mac



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I'm Sorry, Not Beta Read, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Sad, Sad Peter, Sad Peter Parker, Self-Destruction, Self-Hatred, Short, Short & Sweet, Suicidal Ideation, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Wrote this in 20 minutes, and did not edit it, at all, but not sweet, he blames himself for bens death, i think, im just in a mood idk, no beta we die like meh, omg, self blame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 10:26:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16931538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mag_and_mac/pseuds/mag_and_mac
Summary: It came as an afterthought that he probably hadn’t been supposed to read the letter when he did.He wasn't supposed to have been awake.It had been written in neat handwriting, folded with crisp edges, pristine and meticulous enough to stand out in the regular chaos of his lab.





	Frailty

**Author's Note:**

> READ THE TAGS READ THE TAGS READ THE TAGS PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE BE SAFE

It came as an afterthought that he probably hadn’t been supposed to read the letter when he did.

It had been written in neat handwriting, folded with crisp edges, pristine and meticulous enough to stand out in the regular chaos of his lab.

The paper was different from the thick, posh paper all higher-level officials of his company used. It was thin and cheap, and it wrinkled in his fingers.

He sometimes wondered how paper so frail could hold something so heavy, but then he would clench his jaw and remind himself that words were words and none were heavier than any others, because science said so, and science was mind over metaphor.

He was supposed to be asleep.

He wasn’t supposed to have read it before morning had come and the action was completed.

But he was never asleep anymore, and it only took one glance at it for him to be running out of his lab, suit already half assembled.

_I’m sorry_

_I didn’t know what else to do_

It was warm for New York. Tony didn’t feel it. The speed he was flying at the height he was froze him even through the suit.

_I’ve tried to reach out but every time it’s like my throat closes up, and I forget how to speak, and I just end up staying silent_

He was flying too fast, and he didn’t know if the AI warning him of this was screaming in his ear or being swallowed by the distance, because it all sounded the same.

Peter was too much like him. He didn’t sleep enough, he was too smart for his own good, and joked about his traumas to seem like he was fine.

Why was the kid like him in this? Why, of all things, couldn’t he be happy?

_It’s not even completely the fault of me not wanting to explain myself_

He was in Queens. He knew that much. He didn’t know where he was going, though. The suit was taking him to where Peter’s phone was located.

_I just don’t know the words_

He wasn’t flying towards Peter’s apartment. He was flying towards a cluster of buildings that were a bit too tall for him to ignore.

_I don’t know how to say that my mind is always rushing_

The suit was slowing down. Why was it slowing down?

_Always rushing and swirling and tumbling and collapsing_

He was next to the tallest building in Queens.

_How do I explain that the reason my new favorite color is red isn’t because of my suit or yours, it’s because I like the way the color looks in little drops against the bathroom tile_

His heart was screaming inside of his throat, pounding it to pieces as he stumbled onto the roof of the building. There was a boy at the edge. His boy. His kid.

_Spider-man doesn’t deserve to exist either. Look at Uncle Ben. I’m a murderer taking bike thieves to the police._

His kid who had just turned around to see him, eyes bright and blown wide open with fear.

_I don’t know how to explain anything anymore_

He took a step backward as his mouth parted open. His forehead creased, and his eyes shifted to capture what Tony could only assume was terror.

_I don’t even know if this will work. I don’t even know if I can die._

He whispered something Tony couldn’t hear around what was either the wind or his ringing ears.

_But I can’t do this, Mr. Stark_

He took another step.

_I get so sad_

Tony held out his hand and told him to hold it. He said it quietly, and if talking to a lost dog, no matter how much he wanted to scream and cry for his kid to run to him.

_Don’t blame yourself. Don’t blame anyone but me. I had to do this._

Peter took a step in the wrong direction, and Tony couldn’t see him anymore.

_Because when you’ve done all you can, and you still fail,_

_What do you do then?_

He didn’t know.

He didn’t know, so he jumped off the roof too, desperate to catch the only thing that could give him the answer.

_Thank you Mr. Stark_

_I owe you everything_

His kid was still falling, and nothing was faster than his thrumming heart.

 

I’ll catch you, Peter. I promise.


End file.
